隱惡

經文學習:　扬人恶, 即是恶. 疾之甚, 祸且作

[故事: 楊修之死] -- 楊修揚曹操之惡, 惹殺身之禍 

操恐人暗中謀害己身，常吩咐左右：「吾夢中好殺人，凡吾睡著，汝等切勿近前。」一日，晝寢帳中，落被於地，一近侍慌取覆蓋，操躍起拔劍斬之，復上床睡，半晌而起，佯驚問：「何人殺吾近侍？」眾以實對，操痛哭，命厚葬之。人皆以為操果夢中殺人，唯修知其意，臨葬時指而歎曰：「丞相非在夢中，君乃在夢中耳。」操聞愈惡之。 ....... 此時已有殺修之心，今乃借惑亂軍心之罪殺之。

當我們看到人惡, 有時是我們觀察的視點有誤. 當了解事件真相後, 發現並非人惡.  The following real stories are from book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People":

[Lighthouse]
Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on manoeuvres in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch in the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”

“Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.
Lookout replied, “Steady captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you to change course 20 degrees.”
Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”
The captain said, “Send: I’m captain, change course 20 degrees.”
“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”
By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send: I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”
Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”
We changed course.

[Subway]

Covey has the best example of a paradigm shift: he was traveling in a subway, a man gets in with his two sons, the sons are running all over the place bothering the people, this continues, so he finally gets irritated enough to ask the father why he doesn't do something to control his kids. The father replies, "We just got back from the hospital where their mother died. I don't know how to handle it and I guess they don't either."
Suddenly you see the everything differently. That is the power of a paradigm shift. They are the same kids yelling and screaming in the subway, but you look at them and understand them in a different way.

[面對人惡的幾種態度]

-- 內省 (反求諸己, 常思己過)

-- 規過 

-- 多方位思考, 看清事件真相

-- 逃避與衝突 (flight or fight)

-- 揚人惡 ("快樂地非議他人", 閒談論人非, ...)

-- 遇到不開心事件 (人惡) 時, 堅持不揚人惡, 向當事人表達自己的感受和事件本身給自己帶來的後果. (In the class, I shared one of personal experience of how I use this method to communicate with a vice-principal of elemental school.)

[作業]

1. 抄寫經文 "扬人恶, 即是恶. 疾之甚, 祸且作" 十遍
2. 填寫反饋表
3. 準備課後感受 (面對人惡時, 如何應對?　是否揚過人惡？找個類似的故事, 等等), 下節課與大家分享